Added: Ilene Claxton - Date: 14.01.2022 20:26 - Views: 37217 - Clicks: 3532
Oftentimes, coworkers have communication breakdowns, with both sides of an argument leaving the meeting feeling frustrated. To improve difficult conversations, try these three things. Be present — turn away from your computer, leave your phone at your desk, and pause before the conversation to take a deep breath.
Listen more — be genuinely curious and interested in the topic at hand, even if you initially have to fake it. And be open — seek common ground, and be willing to be proven wrong. Over time, listening openly and attentively to others helps to cultivate trust. Jared left the meeting feeling belittled and demoralized. There was too much other work to get done! By the time you walked away from the conversation, you could have cut the tension with a knife. You ended up carrying the conversation with you. It weighed heavily on your mind, adding more stress to your workload. Our review of research and company examples suggests there are three things you can do to avoid communication breakdowns like this.
Add in the dozens of s, texts, calls, and instant messages we receive every hour, and staying focused just gets that much harder. Multitasking, especially with digital media, can have an adverse effect on our mental capacity and affect our productivity, as one Stanford study indicates.
Given our busy schedules and the many messages and s, sometimes we are not present with the people in front of us. Our mind is elsewhere. The more we can bring our wandering mind to the present, the easier and more natural it becomes to connect, listen, and be open and authentic. To help stay present in a meeting or conversation, turn away from your computer and put your phone into airplane mode.
Even better, leave your phone at your desk. The mere presence of a phone at a meeting can make people feel less connected, damaging your ability to communicate successfully. If you have a moment or two before the meeting, rather than trying to send a few additional s, meditate or do some calming breathing exercises. Empty your mind so you can be fully present, attentive, and skillful.
Even if you have only a second before answering a ringing phone or walking into a conference room, pause and take one deep breath. Maybe even remember to smile. Pay attention to cues: Does the person spend a lot of time on a particular point? Does she get more animated at specific junctures and less at others? Listening more and with curiosity not only helps you to better connect and understand what is being said, but also provides valuable input on how you may frame your response and navigate the conversation. It can help you tune into the topics your colleague is passionate about.
From this place of actively listening, your conversation will move forward more constructively. This type of conversation might actually teach you something as well. Henry Elkus, CEO of Helena , created space to hear feedback from everyone in his company, even interns. Thanks to this openness, one of his interns helped dramatically improve the direction his organization would take. Communication involves the exchange of viewpoints, sometimes opposing positions.
Being open-minded at times may require you to be open to being proven wrong. Indeed, this exact situation has happened to me, more than once! But an intern challenging me so directly — and being right — has immense value. As a CEO, I was warned that this model would threaten my own power inside the organization. In fact, I was uncomfortable, and I was heavily challenged. But the discomfort was worth it. The collective feedback approach was crucial to improving our strategy. And because every employee could feel some ownership in creating our plan, they were far more motivated to execute it.
As someone is speaking, notice: Are you already thinking about your rebuttal? Or have you already interrupted? Can you give me a day or so to think it over? Reflect on your experiences: The more connected you feel to someone, the more you tend to trust that person, and the easier it becomes to talk.
This contributes to a sense of psychological safety , which according to a Google study is the key to successful teams. The ability to take risks and speak up can be the difference between thwarting a mistake or learning from one. In the end, everyone benefits. You have 1 free article s left this month. You are reading your last free article for this month. Subscribe for unlimited access. Managing conflicts. on Managing conflicts or related topic Difficult conversations. Follower her work at www.
She conducts trainings at Fortune companies to enable excellence in teams and individuals through mind management. Partner Center.Listen then we ll chat
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In a Difficult Conversation, Listen More Than You Talk